STOP WORRYING: A DECISION TREE

Are you a worrier? Do you worry needlessly, or for what seems like good reason? Either way, you are not alone. Lots of people describe themselves as worriers. And most of them would like to stop, but don’t think they can. Sometimes this is because they believe if they stop worrying they are disloyal or showing they don’t care. Neither is necessarily true. In fact, loyalty, care, and concern have nothing to do with worry. For example, you might be concerned about a relationship or your marriage. But it does not obligate you to worry in order to show care or have concern. Worry and care are separate experiences.

Did you know worrying is optional? It is. Really! Worriers stay worriers because they don’t know what else to do. We typically worry from our hearts, meaning biologically, from the survival and emotional parts of our brain. When we worry from these parts of our brain, we don’t “see straight”; we don’t think clearly about a situation. But what happens when you engage your rational brain? This is the part of your brain capable of reason and useful problem solving. Given the right tools, you can make decisions about your worries. You can decide which ones you want to keep and which ones you want to let go. You can keep all the worries you want. No one can make you give up a worry. Once you know how, what you do is get into your rational or thinking brain and take some specific behavioral steps to decide whether or not you want to keep a worry, and, if you want to be rid of it, what you can do instead. You no longer have to continue your old pattern of worry. What freedom!

The decision tree below is based on the well-written and humorous book Not To Worry by Mary McClure Goulding and Robert L. Goulding, MD. It helps you slow down and use your rational, thinking brain to walk you through an evaluation of a worry. You see if keeping a worry is worthwhile or, well, just plain silly. This decision tree gives you direction on how to be worry-free. For every worry you get rid of, you free up mental and physical energy for something better. Give it a go and see what happens. Let me know what you think: E-mail me today at Lighted Pathways.

Adapted from Not to Worry by Mary McClure Goulding, MSW and Robert L. Goulding, MD